Minister Will B. Dunne read the statement in front of the U-Store-It unit used as the meeting place of the Unitarian Universalists. “In brotherhood with all those seeking more positive relationships in their work and in their lives, we stand behind everyone who supports gayer marriages.”
Dunne went on to say, “You really have to get behind the people pushing this movement. When you see the suffering and sadness rampant in the world today, how can anyone be opposed to more gaiety and spontaneity in any relationship? Seeking a spouse is like finding an employee: you can always teach aptitude, but you marry attitude.”
In addition to gayfulness, the letter also called for marriages to exhibit more joyfulness, cheerfulness, and lightheartedness.
“If I could wave a magic wand like Harry Potter," said the minister, "I would make each and every one of us more gay. That simple attitude adjustment would ensure the future of the human race will be brighter and more positive.”
In other news, the Texas Music Educators Association has voted to remove the word “ritard” from all sheet music.
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