Future executive orders to be in haiku

Washington, D.C., Aug 9, 2010 - In a new approach to political outreach, Daniel Kahikina Akaka, U.S. Senator from Hawaii, has submitted a bill requiring all executive orders to be released in haiku.

As any non-athlete that sat through English class knows, a haiku is a non-rhymed verse in which there are 5 syllables in the first sentence, 7 in the second and 5 again in the last sentence. The bill calls for “any executive order issued after the first of the year to be written in the accepted form of three lines, in the pattern of 5 - 7 - 5.”

“We felt this would be an effective way to staunch the flow of verbose declarations pouring out of every White House,” the former school teacher said. “And if haiku was good enough for the Japanese Imperial Court, it should be good enough for any President of the United States.”

Senator Akaka added that he is working on a bill calling for legislators to diagram every sentence in all future legislation.

In a response earlier today, the White House issued a terse statement:

This is really bad
It is really really bad
It sucks really bad