Zig Expectoritz, Grand Sufar of the 37-person company, told a local reporter of his group’s flight from Kurdistan to seek religious and political freedom in North America.
“We have heard wondrous tales of this land paved with gold, flowing with honey, where a man and his wives can live in peace and seek prosperity unencumbered by oppressive bureaucracy,” he said.
The emigrants sailed up the Guadalupe River over the summer and “discovered” the unoccupied island last weekend. They have re-christened the island “Kerrdistan,” in honor of their native land, with a nod to local history.
According to real estate legal experts, officials can find no deed for ownership for the island. “It appears they have found a loophole,” said a local attorney. “If their claim holds up, it looks like we have a sovereign nation for a neighbor.”
The invaders wasted little time in establishing their beachhead. They installed foot patrols on the bridge connecting the island to the mainland. At press time, they had turned away a group of sunbathers and deported a family of picnickers. Reports are they are considering asylum for a transient who washed up on their north shore.
“We want to be cooperative neighbors to our friends in Kerrville,” Expectoritz said. “But also know that we expect to enforce our borders.”
In reaction to the news, a popular theme park has announced it will change its name to Seven Flags Over Texas.
Are they taking autographs?
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