First SitzenFest Coming To Fredericksburg

September 6, 2010 - Sedentary individuals of all ages and shapes will discover a sport especially suited to them at the First Annual Fredericksburg SitzenFest, coming to MarktPlatz on October 17, 2010.

Participants are invited to spend the day sitting in chairs arrayed on the grounds.

“Over the years we’ve noticed the success of VolksSporting where people just walk around,” Ima Biggenbotham, event chairperson, explained. “When we heard they actually had clubs and were getting medals for strolling, we wanted in on the inaction.”

The SitzenFest is sanctioned by American SitzenSport, with points awarded per hour of immobility. A special award will be given to the person traveling the shortest distance.

Beckman Furniture has agreed to provide a limited number of repossessed recliners for the inaugural event. Chairs will be available for seating on a first come, first seated basis - no seats will be held.

Music will be provided by Fredericksburg’s own “We’d Rather Not Be Marching Band.”

“We don’t play fast songs, or slow songs,” a band spokesman said. “People refer to our music as ‘half-fast.’”

Hamburgers, hot dogs, and an array of bun-friendly meats will be offered for sale.

If successful, organizers may make the SitzenFest an annual event. “Most of us do this every weekend, anyway,” Biggenbotham said.

The event is supported in part with a grant from the Butt Foundation. A portion of the gross is earmarked for the establishment of an Endowed Chair for On-Line Studies at the Texas Tech Hill Country campus (“Get Smart Without Getting Up”).

More information is available by emailing ima@ass.org.

City proposes changing its name

July 8, 2010 - The Kerrville City Council has announced it will vote on changing the name of the community from Kerrville to “Frederickberg.” The name change is part of the effort to attract more tourism to this hill country community.

“We’ve been trying to think outside the box,” explained a council member on condition of anonymity. “Past councils have laid the groundwork to increase the visibility of Kerrville in the tourism industry, but we felt a name change was the final step needed to seal the deal.”

The council chose the new name only after exhaustive research. They consulted with the former head of the Kerr Historical Commission and discovered that one of the early Schreiner family members was named Frederick. By adding “berg” to that, they came up with the new name.

“We briefly played with the idea of using ‘Schreinerville,’ but were afraid the public would think we were affiliated with a group of clowns driving small cars,” the councilman said.

Supporters downplayed complaints that the new name might confuse visitors to another nearby community with a similar name. “We don’t think that will be an issue. There are many similar sounding town names. We think the tourists, with their proven earning ability and desire to spend liberally on vacations, are intelligent enough not to mix up communities 22 miles apart.”

In area news, the county seat of nearby Gillespie County is considering changing its name to “Disneeland.”