Last week officers received an anonymous tip that recent journalism school graduates were being lured to the hill country on the promise of winning a Pulitzer prize, when in reality they were forced to write articles for a chain of local newspapers.
“It was horrible,” said one victim who did not want to reveal her identity. “They forced us to report on city council meetings, write articles about benefit barbecues, and even take photo after photo of stock show winners! Nothing in J-school could have prepared us for that trauma!”
Social workers descended on the nondescript building to calm the abductees and take statements. According to reports, they found nearly unbearable conditions. Among the issues were flickering florescent lights, uncomfortable chairs, non-ergonomic keyboards and computer screens with glare. “I wouldn’t let an eight grade typing class meet in this place,” said one agent. “And they were expected to work 60 hours a week and turn out a new issue every Wednesday. I hope someone pays for this.”
Another reporter spoke about the low pay. “I worked two straight weeks, including weekends and overtime,” he said. “My paycheck? $800. That is barely minimum wage. And I have a four-year degree from a state university. I could make more money teaching.”
State investigators are considering pursuing charges against the owners, who at press time have yet to be located.
Authorities expect to find similar sweatshops across the state as newspaper circulation dwindles and students choose more lucrative professions. For a recent graduate, these offers are tempting when faced with unappealing options of school PR or Social Networking Consultant.
“We grew up hearing about Woodward and Bernstein and dreaming of carving out our own reputations in the newspaper business,” one victim said. “When a publisher comes along and offers you the chance to write articles for a living, you have to jump at it.”
Victims were transported to an area hospital where they were treated for paper cuts, neck strain, and nearsightedness.
This is so hilarious! Picture is great, but the writing is the best!
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