Congressional detritus arrives in Kerrville

by NotNewz contributor Mr. Nick Bottom, Weaver

Kerrville, Feb 15, 2011 - A specially-designed 18-wheel truck arrived in Kerrville this morning, bringing treasures and information from the Library of Congress as part of its tour to cities and towns across America. Beginning in September 2010, the "Gateway to Knowledge" rolling exhibition is visiting up to 60 sites in states across the Midwest and South.
The truck, staffed and driven by two docents well-versed in the Library and its collections.
Some of the items found in the display include:

• Martha Washington's teeth. George Washington's teeth are a fairly passé historical relic. But have you ever seen Martha's? Make sure to ask to see the grill she wore for special occasions.
•  A jelly bean rejected by Ronald Reagan. This bean, momentarily tasted by our 40th president, was found to be too "liberal." ("Tastes like public broadcasting," the Gipper is reported to have said.
• Correspondence between Winnie-the-Pooh and Smokey the Bear. See for yourself the misery endured by these two ursine symbols, and the comfort they found in their long friendship.
• A rock. Unknown origin or significance.
• Aaron Copeland's kazoo. A fine example of German engineering, this Berlitz kazoo is tuned to the key of F flat.
• A plinth made of granite.
• An early Walt Disney cartoon is shown on the half hour in the sunken theater located in the traveling display's basement. Some scholars suggest the cartoon, entitled "Spiderman" suggests Disney is the creator of Betty Boop and Dagwood and Blondie.
• A walking cane made of peppermint candy.

And of course hundreds of other historical objects, some of them genuine, but all hauled across the country at great expense.
Admission is free, since each American has already paid a $17 entrance fee on last year's taxes.