The Jasper couple, who have been married 42 years, have hired an attorney and begun contacting media outlets to promote their issue.
“We see the double standard in our culture,” said Lester. “Gay couples have enjoyed non-marriage forever; we believe us normal, God-fearing Americans should have that same right to live together without being under contract by the state.”
An attorney for the Hackberrys listed the benefits that accrue to gay couples.
“Look, they can live together without the commitment and fear that a legal, binding marriage certificate creates. When they get tired of each other, they don’t have to go through a lengthy and contentious divorce; they just go find another partner. They don’t have to have kids. They enjoy two incomes, and they agree on how to shop. What married couple wouldn’t love that setup?”
There has been a mixed reaction from the one local gay couple that lives in Jasper, who agreed to be interviewed without giving last names. “It just doesn’t seem fair,” said Herb. “I mean, the one institution we gay couples enjoy in this country is the right to not be married. It’s practically in the constitution, and definitely in the Baptist bible. Straight couples should just stick to their vows and not mess up things for the rest of us.”
Herb’s partner, Theodore, takes a different view. “I say, if straight people want to break the bonds of matrimony, who are we to stop them? Let them not eat cake.”
For Marie and Lester, the dream of non-marriage, while tempting, remains elusive. “I look at our gay neighbors, grilling on the deck, entertaining other couples, changing partners, not having to visit their sick spouses in the hospital, and I say, Why can’t we straight folks enjoy relationships like that? No, we are stuck ‘til death do us part.’ Modern marriage is slavery!”
In a related story, a white couple is lobbying to bring back slavery. “We’ve lost our jobs, our home is under water, and Slim’s Motor Sales repossessed our Jeep. At this point I’d pay to be somebody’s slave. At least we’d have a job, a place to sleep, and know where our next meal was coming from.”
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