Demolition crew demolishes wrong hospital

Patients at the new Peterson Regional Health Center in Kerrville, Texas, awoke to bulldozers and flying rubble Monday morning as the Acme Demolition Company mistakenly began demolishing the brand new hospital.

“I thought I was having another stroke,” said Myrna Abernathy, sporting a bandage on the side of her head where she had been struck by a flying plastic flower vase.

Acme was low bidder on the contract to take down the building at the original site downtown. A company spokesman blamed the mixup on Google maps.

“We did our due diligence - a Google search on SPMH,” he reported. “Apparently the search agent did not differentiate between the old and new hospitals, so we sent our crews out to the new facility.”

The new hospital is not a complete loss, according to administrators. The crew only had time to level the outpatient and ER wings before being made aware of the error. Local officials arranged a press conference to explain the issue. The president of Acme was unable to attend, as due to an error in his GPS he ended up in Kerryville, New York.

“We are awful sorry about this little mixup,” he commented via email.

A member of the hospital custodial staff, who was cleaning up the rubble, had one comment: “Why couldn’t they have started with the cafeteria?”

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