Rapture takes local musician

May 21, 2011 - At 6:01 p.m. Central Daylight Time cowboy musician Doug Davis was taken up from this couch on his porch, where he had been sitting to watch events unfold. Friends soon gathered. Most often heard comment was, "Which way did he go?"
About a dozen of his most ardent fans expect him back in three days.

ICE to use "velvet" deterrent for border security

May 15, 2011 - In a stunning development, the Obama administration has moved to bring out a more powerful weapon in the war to secure the U.S. southwest border.

Following President  Obama’s appearance and speech on immigration in El Paso, Immigration and Customs Enforcement Director John Morton declared his department will deploy “velvet rope” to head off U.S.-bound aliens.

“We know this may raise hackles among our southern allies, but the problem has gone beyond control by conventional methods,” Morton said. “Walls, weapons, and more border agents are proving ineffective. It is time to show Mexico and the world we are serious about controlling our borders.”

As proof of the power of velvet rope, Morton pointed out that it is the same caliber of rope used in Driver’s License offices and airports across the country. “Have you ever seen anyone dare to cut through that velvet maze? It just can’t be done.”

An added advantage is that installing rope goes much faster than building 18-foot concrete and steel walls. Workers have already begun stringing rope between pylons in the Brownsville to Laredo sector. Work should be completed by fall.

To fund the installation, employees stationed at “unhooking” points will assess a “cover charge” for entering the U.S.

In a related development, Secret Service agents are experimenting with replacing concrete barriers surrounding the White House with orange traffic cones.

xxx