“We’ve had quite a few people turning in to our parking lot looking for the drive-thru window,” said Captain Mariner, director of the new multi-million dollar facility. “For some reason, people think we are serving burgers and fries.”
With the heightened interest from the public in seeing the facility during the grand opening weekend, adding such a facility may not be a bad idea.
“I wish we had a restaurant... we could have sold a clown car full of Big Macs and Quarter Pounders,” he said. “We might have to look at adding a deep fryer or two as part of our ongoing funding strategy.”
One thing sure is that people who pack on the pounds with fast food will have a state-of-the-art facility to work it off. The pool has been filled with brightly colored plastic balls, and fitness fanatics can crawl through almost a mile of plastic tubes that remind observers of hamster habitrails.
In a related development, Mariner dismissed rumors of a “clown like” figure that has been seen lurking outside the chain link fence, despite maintenance reports of “very large” footprints in the fields surrounding the new facility.
“We want to assure our new patrons that the Kroc Center is completely safe and secure,” Mariner said. “Anyone who believes otherwise is McStaken.”
